Some Thoughts during Covid-19 Pandemic

I haven't written in some while, and I'm sure each of you are in the same boat as me. With the onset of COVID-19, life has been upended and completely changed around. Kids are now remote schooling from home, activities are cancelled, everything except the "essential services" are cancelled, we are ordered to stay at home. Things are different! And also they aren't. Spring is still coming to life; the grass is turning green, the trees are budding, the birds are singing, the sky is blue, flowers are beginning to pop up to give us a small taste of God's beauty. The mountains are still there, strong and mighty. People are still there, even in social distancing. Schools are still functioning outside of their walls as teachers adapt to still teach and connect with our kids. The church is still there, and gathers even without a physical building. And most of all, always and forever, no matter what, God is still there.

If you are at all like me, your emotions have been up and down and all around during this global pandemic. I have felt strong and weak, brave and fearful, certain and uncertain, peaceful and lacking peace, joyful and grumpy, calm and overwhelmed, with perspective and lacking perspective, thankful to be at home and trapped, anchored and tossed by the waves. And that was just the first day of all of this by noon ;). I've also written about a million blog posts in my head about what I want to say in all of this, what truth I could write out to keep my eyes and my heart fixed on God. I've started several posts and yet finished none. One, because the kids are all at home...which admittedly makes is hard to carry out a single thought. But more than that I just haven't been quite sure where to start, or rather which thought to carry through. I started writing about David and Goliath and how when we believe in the presence and power of God with us we can courageously slay giants and live unafraid. I started to write about prayer, about gladness even in hard times, about waiting and trusting God through all the uncertainty, about how none of this is wasted or out of God's control, about how God continues to move and work all things together for good and for His glory, about hope. Up, down, all around I went.

So today, I am not going to write to you about one thing in particular, but rather give you (and myself) a few reminders and share a few stories from my life in the midst of all this coronavirus craziness.

First, let's talk about feelings. Praise be to God that while feelings peak and valley and swirl in all of this, "my feelings are not my boss" as I like to tell my kids. God is still our boss. We use this analogy in our house. Feelings are important, they get to ride in "the car". While we don't want to stuff them in the trunk, we also don't want to let them be our driver. So listen to how you are feeling in this, but remember that our feelings are subject to our thoughts, which are subject to the truth, which comes from God. And subjecting our feelings to the truth of God's word brings incredible freedom!

A few weeks ago I went into the feeling pit. I began feeling a little trapped. Then I started reading the news on my phone, which did not help at all. I began to feel overwhelmed, scared, uncertain about how and when this would change and how it would end. A cousin in Texas was very sick with this virus, and many were sick and not doing well in our country and around the world. Then that night one of my kiddos woke up covered with hives. The next morning another kiddo had a meltdown by 7:30 am. Happy Monday, I thought gloomily.

But as I sat down to open my Bible and study my Bible, I found hope in the book of Ecclesiastes (of all places). Ecc 8:15 says this: "So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun." I remembered Psalm 16:11, "You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever." And in this God began to speak His truth into my heart. "Are you remembering that I am the one who gives you life, Jennifer. I know all of your days, none of this is out of my control. Are you doing the work I have set before you, to teach your kids, to share my truth with them, to feed them, to help others, to be a light...are you doing this work with joy? Is your joy based on your circumstances or is it found in my Presence. Is your countenance gloomy or full of gladness today. Even when things are different, even in uncertainty, even in a pandemic, you can still find joy in my Presence. Don't miss all I have given to you today, life, breath, food, family. Enjoy it, be glad in it, be joyful as you work unto Me."

And just like that, my feelings were taken out of the driver's seat and put back in their proper place. I was freed from my gloom, from my fear, as I was reminded that God is still sovereign and still good. I could trust in Him and find joy in Him. And do you know what, my day got a whole lot better from there. Praise the Lord that as I currently edit this post I can report that my cousin is starting to recover, my son's hives have gone away, and remote schooling is going "better." :) Feelings are fine, and it is important to acknowledge them...it's ok to say, "man, this stinks". We've since learned that remote schooling will be through the rest of the year. With my kids changing schools next year, that was a major bummer as they feel they won't get to say "goodbye." And we say, "guys, this stinks, and I know it's a bummer." All three of my kiddos have birthdays in the spring and they are all missing the parties they'd anticipated and time with friends. And we say, "this stinks guys, but I'm still glad we can be together and celebrate with you!" It's ok to acknowledge feelings. But don't let them be your boss. In the next breath of admitting that "it is a bummer" we can also shift our eyes to acknowledge all that we have to be grateful for and praise God for those things! We keep things in perspective. We can be honest with God and share our true feelings, but then we put those feelings in their place and remember His faithfulness, His goodness, His blessing, and we thank Him that His character is not contingent on circumstances or on our feelings. Feelings are not always reality. We lift our eyes up, we fix our eyes on the Lord. He is our hope, our peace, our anchor, our refuge and strength. Immerse yourself in His Word, for through it He speaks and brings incredible truth, life, and freedom.

The second thing I want to remind us all about is that "God is." In all of this, let's remember that God is still God. He is the Great I Am. There is no virus that changes that. He is God Almighty, King of Kings, Lord of Lords. He has the power to heal, to protect. He is life. He is refuge, strength, source, protector. He is sovereign, supreme, just, merciful, compassionate, good. Though we may not understand, we can trust that He still has all the power and is still fully God. He is not weakened or surprised in any way. He is real, He is working, and He is divinely intervening in ways we will never know through all of this. His purpose will stand, for nothing can thwart His plan. He is using all things together for good. He is bringing many to salvation. He is still God, and He is at work even when it feels like things are out of control.

And finally, I want to remind us all to pray. I could write for days about prayer. What an amazing privilege to be invited into the presence of God to bring our requests before Him. And also what an incredible mystery. God tells us that He hears and responds to our prayers when prayed in faith and righteousness. The power is not in our words, but in the One we pray to. So let us be a people who pray, for we know that we have a God who hears and moves when we do so. A few thoughts on prayer:

1. Pray in everything, in every way, over everything. In every feeling, pray. In every fear, pray. In every joy, praise. In every circumstance, pray. Pray, pray, pray.

2. Remember it is not about your words or the "strength" of your prayer or the bigness of "your faith", it is the strength of our God. It is His power that makes the difference, so let's just ask Him to do big things! To forgive our sin, to heal our land, to draw the hearts of this people back to Him, to protect us! Maybe you don't know what to pray or how to pray, and that is ok. Just call out to Jesus for help! He hears and He cares. It is His power, not our words, so don't stress about "what to say." Rather fix your eyes on Who we cry out to, and call on His name.

3. Prayer brings us freedom. We take our burdens and our cares and we are invited to cast them on God. To hurl the weights and burdens off of our backs and give them over to God. What burden are you carrying? What fear is weighing you down? What weight is on your shoulders? Give it over to God in prayer.

4. Surrender what we pray to God. Often times I think I need to give God a little insight on how he can work this all out. But I was reminded recently that I ask, but He gives the answer. And even when the answer is not one I would have picked, or one that I may understand, I surrender it to Him. I trust that His ways are not my ways, but that He is still working, still in control, still good. I pray...persistently, fervently, boldly, and then I surrender it to Him and praise Him in all of it.

I think I have hit my word limit for now ;) and yet I feel I have so much still to say. I will leave you with this. Hebrews 10:23 says, "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."

God is faithful! He will see us through all of this. May He light up your face with gladness and fill your heart with joy today as you trust in Him!